Daria: Season #2

✰ EPISODE #1: ARTS ‘N’ CRASS – Ms. Defoe, the Art instructor, asks the talented Jane to submit a poster about student life and submit it into a contest. Jane draws a pretty girl looking into a mirror with Daria adding a very negative poem about Bulimia. The poster does not go over well with the school Principal, Ms. Li, who orders it changed and submitted against their will. Daria and Jane don’t take this without a struggle. At school, Ms. Li and Mr. O’Neill interrupt Ms. Defoe’s Art class to announce a statewide Art contest called “Student Life at the Dawn of the New Millennium”, to allow students to show what life is like as a high school student in today’s fast-changing world. Both Daria and Jane think the whole thing is pretty lame, but Ms. Defoe convinces Jane to participate by appealing to her artists’ ego. Unwilling to go at it alone, she asks Daria to help her and though initially reluctant to help, she gives in when Jane points out that no one said that the message had to be a positive one. After a brainstorming session involving lots of pizza, they come up with the idea of a poster depicting a beautiful girl gazing into a mirror… with a short poem stating that she got that way by being Bulimic. Ms. Defoe is initially put off by the work but changes her mind when Daria states that the work is a cautionary message about looks being deceiving and that the poem was deliberately harsh in order to contrast with the beauty of the picture. (It didn’t hurt that Jane’s work was also far and away the best of the bunch). Unfortunately, Ms. Defoe’s approval isn’t mirrored by Ms. Li and Mr. O’Neill, who love the painting but are put off by the crude poem and who both attempt to convince them to change the poem. The girls would rather withdraw from the contest than submit to censorship, but Ms. Li convinces them to remain in the contest by suggesting a cooling-off period, which she uses to have Mr. O’Neill contact their parents and have them convince the girls to change the poem. Mr. O’Neill can’t reach the Lanes but does manage to reach a frustrated and overworked Helen, who assures him that she’ll talk to Daria before hanging up on her. At dinner, Jake (who’s taken cooking in his free time, which he now has a lot more of after losing his big client) not only annoys the family with his “penne a la pesto” but manages to undermine Helen’s efforts to talk to Daria, getting a bowl of pasta over his head for his trouble. Helen does manage to exact a promise from Daria to at least hear what Mr. O’Neill has to say, but what he says doesn’t fill them with confidence, he’ll take a stab at making the poem more palatable, but if they don’t like it, they can leave the poster as it is. Predictably, what he comes up with totally changes the meaning of the poster, but when they try to cash in on their part of the bargain, Ms. Li overrules everyone by entering the poster – with the altered poem – against their will. Angry and upset and with no options left through proper channels, the girls (with Trent’s help) take the matter into their own hands by attending the showing and defacing the poster. A furious Ms. Li tries to discipline the girls for their actions, but she quickly backs down when Helen threatens to file a lawsuit charging the school with violating the girls’ civil rights. As Daria and Jane celebrate their somewhat Pyrrhic victory – the only way they could win was to destroy their work – Brittany announces to everyone that her crude poster was the winner of the art contest.

✰ EPISODE #2: THE DARIA HUNTER – Mr. DeMartino, Mr. O’Neill and Ms. Barch take their classes on a paintballing field trip. Daria and Jane ditch the group to go to a “great white shark” exhibit that turns out to be a tourist trap and later new relationships are made (and broken) in tents after it starts to rain. Mr. DeMartino informs his class that they, along with Mr. O’Neill’s and Ms. Barch’s classes (and Ms. Li) will be taking a field trip to Jim’s Paintballing Jungle, ostensibly to study how warfare affects all aspects of human culture. When a request is made for parent volunteers, the Morgendorffer sisters are in rare agreement, no telling Helen or Jake about the trip. Helen finds out anyway, when she innocently asks Quinn about her new anti-helmet-hair hairdo and she cracks under the “pressure”, fortunately, for the girls, Helen only shows a token interest in going, but seems to back down. The bus trip to the paintball range is eventful, with Kevin getting smacked by Brittany for a insensitive comment, the Fashion Club vowing not to shoot each other and Daria and Jane spotting signs for a roadside attraction called “The Great White Shark” that Jane seems to think holds more promises than paintballing. Daria is reluctant, but quickly relents when the buses arrive at the range and are greeted by Helen and Jake (who were convinced to attend by Mr. O’Neill). After a pep talk by Jim himself, the group splits into two teams, one led my Mr. DeMartino and the other Mr. O’Neill and Ms. Barch. As the games begin (with Brittany showing surprising flair for tactical warfare), Daria and Jane each get themselves taken out early and together they head out to see the Great White Shark. At the range, each group has its own share of casualties – Brittany takes out Kevin and Mr. DeMartino, while the Fashion Club mistakenly opens fire on each other – before the whole outing is rained out. To pass the time, the kids start partying in a shelter nicknamed the “Hanoi Hilton”, while the adults attempt to bond in various tents. As such, Jake and Mr. DeMartino wind up getting drunk and swapping childhood horror stories, Helen and Ms. Li wind up in a clash of personalities and Mr. O’Neill tries to comfort a bitter Ms. Barch , who eventually warms up to him and they, well, bond. Meanwhile, Daria and Jane arrive at the Great White Shark only to find that the “shark” is actually just a tooth, with the woman running the attraction spinning them a story lifted right out of the plot of the movie Jaws (she even lets slip a reference to Richard Dreyfuss as the girls leave). The girls rejoin the group just as the rain lets up and as the buses pull out, three people are left behind. Sandi, whose attempts to get the better of Quinn get her nothing but an impromptu mud bath and Helen and Jake, victims of a stolen distributor cap (courtesy of Ms. Li.)

✰ EPISODE #3: QUINN THE BRAIN – The identity tables turn for the Morgendorffer sisters in this episode of the animated MTV series Daria. Prodded by her parents to improve her grades and ignored by Daria in her quest for homework assistance, Quinn nonetheless manages to pull off the “A” essay she needs to pass her English class. Mr. O’Neil even gets the girl’s paper – a bitter screed titled “Academic Imprisonment” published in the school newspaper. Soon, Quinn has made intellectualism chic and starts aspiring to both existential depth and black-clad stylishness. Initially amused by her sister’s transformation, Daria eventually becomes insecure about her own identity. Despite reassurances from Jane, she worries that with Quinn now the Morgendorffer “brain” she has no persona of her own. Luckily for Daria, neither the Fashion Club nor Quinn’s suitors are very impressed with the girl’s transformation. Sandi puts her bitter rival on probation for daring to start counter-trends, while Jamie, Joey and Jeffy agree to Daria’s plan to prod Quinn back to her usual place in the pecking order. Donning a suspiciously familiar outfit and some out-of-character grooming habits, Daria pretends literally to become her sister- and the object of the boys’ hormonal frenzy. Quinn does the math, realizes booked-solid Saturday nights are more important than Sarte and quickly regresses to her usual pastel vapidity. Quinn writes a paper in Mr. O’Neill’s English class that the teacher really likes and recites to the class. Quinn becomes scared that she will now become an outcast because people think she’s a “brain”, but just the opposite happens, she becomes a popular brain and starts to work with it. Daria, meanwhile, finds herself losing her own identity since Quinn is the school brain now. When Quinn is informed by Mr. O’Neill that she’s failing English and needs an “A” on her next assignment in order to pass, she gets a pep talk from Helen and Jake on the virtues of a solid education. It doesn’t work, but Daria’s words of wisdom – she’ll be the oldest freshman at Lawndale High if she’s held back – kick her into gear. Quinn tries to get Daria to write her essay for her, succeeding only in making her mad with insensitive comments, so she ends up writing it herself. “Academic Imprisonment”, an essay expressing her frustrations with school life, is singled out for individual achievement by Mr. O’Neill, who actually gets it published in the school paper’s “Smart Thoughts” column. Daria, who was initially stunned by the good grade, is now delighted at the attention Quinn is receiving, as it means her sister will finally know what it’s like to be considered a “brain.” Unfortunately, the effect is quite the opposite, as “Brains” Morgendorffer manages to turn being smart into a fad and becomes more popular than ever. Buoyed by the sudden surge in popularity, Quinn starts dressing in black and writing poetry in an attempt to act intelligent, but while this helps her popularity with her fellow students, the Fashion Club puts her on probation when other girls start dressing like Quinn instead of following Fashion Club trends. During all of this, Daria becomes more and more concerned or her own identity, because if Quinn is now known as “the brainy Morgendorffer girl,” then where does she fit in? Jane tries to reassure her friend that she’s still the same old outcast she always way, but Daria can only find one way out of her dilemma, one that she’s been saving as an absolute last resort. Her opportunity comes when Joey, Jeffy and Jamie beg Daria to bring the “old Quinn” back, so she comes up with a wicked plan: The three boys will come over to her house and ask her out, then she will become Quinn – makeup, jeans pink midriff T-shirt, the works. The goal is to convince Quinn that if she’s going to take Daria’s identity, then Daria is going to take hers… as well as all the cute guys she loves to date. This finally does the trick and causes Quinn to renounce being a “brain” and go back to her old self.

Episode #4: I Don’t – The Morgendorffers are invited to the wedding of Helen’s niece and Helen insists that her daughters be bridesmaids. At the wedding, Helen keeps getting angry over issues she has with her sister, Rita, whom she despises. Daria, meanwhile, meets her other aunt, the cynical Amy, with whom she has quite a few things in common. While their classmates clash over a school bridal show, Daria and Quinn experience the real ting in this episode of the animated MTV series Daria. Jodie and Brittany are adamant that Mack and Kevin not attend the matrimonially themed fundraiser in which they’re taking part, but the jock boys crash the event anyway. Mistaken for a gay couple by a wedding-ring salesman, they proceed to disrupt the show and have to pay for it later, Meanwhile Quinn is elated to become one of her cousin Erin’s bridesmaids, but Daria is sullen about getting roped into it too. At the wedding, Helen gets into a brawl with her oft-estranged sister Rita, the mother of the bride. But Daria reluctantly bonds with the date who’s been foisted on her – and with her other aunt, Amy, who seems to provide a possible role model for Daria’s future. Instead of a honeymoon, the event ends at a bowling alley, where Daria hangs out with the bride and watches the groom slowly but inexorably get utterly trashed. The only person to escape unscathed from the ceremony is Jake, who enjoys a few rounds of late-night golf at the posh resort where the profligate Rita decided to throw the wedding. When the Morgendorffers are invited to the wedding if Daria’s cousin Erin, which is being held at the posh Windsor Hills Resort in Leeville, Helen makes sure that Daria and Quinn are bridesmaids. Quinn, naturally, is delighted, while Daria basically wants nothing to do with the whole affair. She knows that Helen and her sister Rita have a sibling rivalry going that makes her own battles with Quinn look like a cake walk and she can sense disaster looming. Nonetheless, she’s trapped, so she and Jane go to the bridal store to get the dress fitted. At the store they run into Jodie and Brittany, who are getting fitted for gowns to wear at a bridal show fundraiser at school. On the day of the wedding, the Morgendorffers are greeted at Windsor Hills by Rita and her new beau, Paul Meyerson and the tension  In the air is thick enough to cut with a knife. Things get interesting with the arrival of Helen’s other sister, Amy, who looks a lot like an adult version of Daria… and acts like it, too. Quinn and Daria are soon introduced to their escorts. Quinn’s is the handsome Garrett, while Daria is stuck with the moody and sarcastic Luhrman. Meanwhile, at the school bridal show, Kevin and Mack attend (in spite of Brittany and Jodie’s insistence that they don’t) and are mistaken for a gay couple by a vendor hawking wedding bands. Kevin then acts like a fool during the show and embarrasses Brittany, who quickly gets over it when he buys her an entire booth’s worth of flowers. Back at the wedding, the reception is in full swing, with Quinn constantly hit on by the minister and Daria telling outrageous tall tales to the other bridesmaids (with help from a surprising ally, Luhrman). Daria encounters her Aunt Amy in the restroom and finds that she’s something of a kindred spirit. Outside, things start to slide rapidly when a drunken Helen, who’s still upset at her mother for constantly favoring Rita over her, starts an argument with her sister, which sets off a chain reaction with everyone else. Daria and Amy decide to make a fast getaway and drive to a local bowling alley, where they proceed to chat over an order of cheese fries as Erin’s new husband, Brian, slowly gets drunk at the bar and vows “never to go back there”. The fight is eventually broken up and while Helen and Rita reconcile and Paul bribes the police to look the other way, Jake drags a caddy and a flashlight out to the resort’s world-renowned golf course and squeezes in a few well-deserved rounds. 

✰ EPISODE #5: THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS DUMB – Their old hippie friends, the Yaegers, who haven’t changed a bit, visit Helen and Jake. An issue is raised over which family is living the better life now, the laid-back, old-fashioned Yaegers, or the modern, upwardly mobile Morgendorffers. Quinn takes an interest in the Yeager’s aloof, cynical son Ethan, who ends up telling her about their parents’ former problems with the law. Daria, meanwhile, heads off to a flea market with Jane, Jesse and her continuing crush, Trent where they attempt to sell Trent’s old records. Willow and Coyote Yeager, two of Helen and Jake’s friends from their hippie days, arrive with their son Ethan for a weekend visit. Daria can’t stand the thought of being part of a Woodstock revival, so she decides to spend the weekend at Jane’s house, but not before she pays Quinn $20 to dig up some dirt on their parents. At Jane’s, Trent and Jesse are going through a bunch of vinyl LPs, which they plan to sell at the weekend flea market. Jane, naturally decides to inviter herself and Daria along, despite the fact that they have to be up at 6:00am. The Yeagers’ visit doesn’t go as smoothly as hoped, because while Quinn is frustrated at her lack of success in hitting on an uninterested Ethan (who seems to be something of a male Daria), Helen and Jake are constantly reminded of how they’ve “sold out” when compared to Willow and Coyote (who’ve seemingly never abandoned their hippie-era ideals). Both she and Jake decide to regain some of those ideals, with Helen making bread and starting a compost heap and Jake growing a beard. At the flea market, Daria and Jane aren’t having much luck selling the LPs and the snoozing Trent and Jesse (who stayed up all night rather than get up early) aren’t any help at all. Upchuck, who’s attending the market with the hope of finding some rare collectable items, gives them some impromptu salesmanship lessons, but his main usefulness comes when the foursome decides to get some burgers and sodas. This proves to be a mistake, because while Jane and Jesse hunt down some burgers (and Jane sees first-hand just how vapid Jesse is) and Daria and Trent get sodas, Upchuck abandons the booth in search of girlie magazines. When the foursome finds him and drags him back to the booth, they discover that the booth has been ransacked and almost all of the LPs stolen (save for three copies of Boston’s debut album). Meanwhile, Helen and Jake make a startling discovery while they’ve been trying to be more like the Yeagers, the Yeagers, have grown tired of their hippie ways and want to be more like them. Helen and Jake are more than happy to help, with Helen giving Willow an electric bread maker and Jake giving Coyote impromptu lessons in golf and ruthless business management. When Daria returns, Helen tries to punish her for skipping out on dinner with the family, but she backs down when Daria starts to interrogate her about an embarrassing incident from her college days (which Quinn learned from Ethan when she finally convinced him to take her out for lunch). As the Yeagers leave, Jake declares that he’s going to stop living in the past as of right now… and decides to give all his old vinyl LPs to Daria.

The idealistic hippy past of yuppie parents Helen and Jake once again comes back to haunt them, this time in physical form, in this episode of the animated MTV series Daria. Trouble arrives in the form of Coyote and Willow Yeager, fellow “summer of love” alumni who have retained their macrobiotic habits and can’t find enough ways to criticize the Morgendorffers’ lifestyle. Ethan, their surly son, proves an enchanting challenge to Quinn, but Daria is less than impressed; she takes refuge with Jane for the weekend and ends up assisting Jesse and Trent in their attempt to unload a stack of old LPs at a flea market. Back home, Jake and Helen are relieved to learn that Willow and Coyote, too want to shed some of their dusty ’60s nostalgia. A delighted Helen promptly ceases her attempts to get in touch with nature and instead purchases her old friend a electric bread maker in hopes of selling her on the feminist emancipation of modern appliances. Hubby Jake meanwhile gives the countercultural Coyote some tips on his golf swing and his management techniques. Quinn never does manage to elicit much romantic interest from Ethan, but he does give up some dirt on embarrassing incidents from her parents’ past – ammo Daria uses to get out of being grounded for her extended absence.